And another thing!
If you reading this now, then chances am that you been to cave before. And if you been to cave before, chances am that you something about Monstee and his rantings. And if you know anything about Monstee and his rantings, you should know that he rant most about advertising that piss him off. And if you know that he rant most about advertising that piss him off, then you can assume there am reason he am bringing it up now. And if there am reason he am bringing it up now, you can guess that it am because he am going to rant about it now.
SO! If A imply B and B imply C, then A imply C and therefore if you am reading this now you can guess them me am going to rant about advertising that piss me off. See how logical that am? See how that make sense? Why not logic like that be used in these dang commercials that litter up our TV and stick they filth in our minds? Tonight we start with...
Tender, juicy, premium boneless pieces of 100% chicken breast, marinated and breaded in our special seasonings and fried to crispy, golden perfection. It's no bones, all flavor.
You see it? You see what piss me off? Me got no problem with it being boneless. Me got no problem with it being wing. Me got no problem with it being 100% breast meat...
mmmMMMMmmmbreastmeat...
NO! You no distract Monstee with sexy talk of boobie yummy yums! You am liars! You lie and nobody call you on it! Well not no more! Here am Monstee! Me say what need to be said. How am you boneless wings made of breast meat and STILL FUCKING WINGS!!
THEY AM NOT!!
Boneless wing am wing that have no bone, but it AM STILL WING!! All you do am cut up breast meat and CALL it wing. Unless this am special chickens we talking bout. Am this special chicken? Am this magic chicken? Am you all down at KFC labs working on new special magic mutant chicken we need know about?!?!
"Quick! Call the Colonel! We just developed a chicken that can flap and fly with it's TITS!!" NO! That no happen and that am no happening NOW! You am just liars trying to pass off tiny chunks of breastlets dipped in sauce as fucking wings!! THEY AM NOT WINGS!!! HEY! Hey, you want me order bunches of them? Yeah you do. Me tell you what... Me will order all you got in fucking restaurant and you let Monstee pay with me money. Me money am made from 100% used toilet tissue you ASSHOLES!! FUCK YOU! Call wing, wing and call breastlet chunk, breastlet chunk!!!
"Oh gee. I don't know Bob. We need a hook to get chicken to sell. These chunks of breasts will never fly. They're no bigger than a wing. At least they got no bones. Heyyyyy.... Let just call them wings! Boneless wings!"
NO you fucking dickface! These wings am made out of breast meat? Could be try to push any more stupid fucking idea down public gullet?!?!
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT!!! FUCK YOU!! It am NOT lasaga pizza!!! Know why? NO LASAGA!! Lasaga am lasaga because of fucking LASAGA NOODLES!!! If you take lasaga noodles out of baked lasagna and put in... oh me not know... say... ziti noodles. You know what you get? YOU GET FUCKING BAKED ZITI!!! THE NAME COME FROM THE GOD DAMNED PASTA YOU DUMB SHITS!!!
What you got here... OH! Pizza crust, beef, marinara sauce, three cheese.... WHERE THE FUCKING LASAGNA?? That not lasagna pizza... THAT EVERY PIZZA!!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! THAT JUST FUCKING PIZZA!!!
OK...ok... me will give you something like Alfredo pizza, mainly because it have fucking Alfredo sauce on it and ALFREDO NOT NAME OF THE PASTA!!! OH! OH! Look! Me invented spaghetti pizza! Know what it have on it? FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! Oh look! Mostacholi pizza!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! WOO HOO!! Ziti pizza!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!!
No, no... no... no. Me in mood for something simple. Some old standard.. like... sausage pizza. You know what am on that? FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!!
You fuckers!! Please! Do me favor. All you Pizza Hut idea geniuses go over to KFC labs and find them fucking brainiacs and you all go dance ballet. Yeah, get you dicks out and shove them up each other asses. Then yank em out and chili-wip face of guy next to you. End it all with nice case of salad tossing and lethal Asphuxiation and THAT AM ballet!!! Ballet with 100% sodomy!
Enjoy you advertising fucks!
SO! If A imply B and B imply C, then A imply C and therefore if you am reading this now you can guess them me am going to rant about advertising that piss me off. See how logical that am? See how that make sense? Why not logic like that be used in these dang commercials that litter up our TV and stick they filth in our minds? Tonight we start with...
Tender, juicy, premium boneless pieces of 100% chicken breast, marinated and breaded in our special seasonings and fried to crispy, golden perfection. It's no bones, all flavor.
You see it? You see what piss me off? Me got no problem with it being boneless. Me got no problem with it being wing. Me got no problem with it being 100% breast meat...
mmmMMMMmmmbreastmeat...
NO! You no distract Monstee with sexy talk of boobie yummy yums! You am liars! You lie and nobody call you on it! Well not no more! Here am Monstee! Me say what need to be said. How am you boneless wings made of breast meat and STILL FUCKING WINGS!!
THEY AM NOT!!
Boneless wing am wing that have no bone, but it AM STILL WING!! All you do am cut up breast meat and CALL it wing. Unless this am special chickens we talking bout. Am this special chicken? Am this magic chicken? Am you all down at KFC labs working on new special magic mutant chicken we need know about?!?!
"Quick! Call the Colonel! We just developed a chicken that can flap and fly with it's TITS!!" NO! That no happen and that am no happening NOW! You am just liars trying to pass off tiny chunks of breastlets dipped in sauce as fucking wings!! THEY AM NOT WINGS!!! HEY! Hey, you want me order bunches of them? Yeah you do. Me tell you what... Me will order all you got in fucking restaurant and you let Monstee pay with me money. Me money am made from 100% used toilet tissue you ASSHOLES!! FUCK YOU! Call wing, wing and call breastlet chunk, breastlet chunk!!!
"Oh gee. I don't know Bob. We need a hook to get chicken to sell. These chunks of breasts will never fly. They're no bigger than a wing. At least they got no bones. Heyyyyy.... Let just call them wings! Boneless wings!"
NO you fucking dickface! These wings am made out of breast meat? Could be try to push any more stupid fucking idea down public gullet?!?!
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!
FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT!!! FUCK YOU!! It am NOT lasaga pizza!!! Know why? NO LASAGA!! Lasaga am lasaga because of fucking LASAGA NOODLES!!! If you take lasaga noodles out of baked lasagna and put in... oh me not know... say... ziti noodles. You know what you get? YOU GET FUCKING BAKED ZITI!!! THE NAME COME FROM THE GOD DAMNED PASTA YOU DUMB SHITS!!!
What you got here... OH! Pizza crust, beef, marinara sauce, three cheese.... WHERE THE FUCKING LASAGNA?? That not lasagna pizza... THAT EVERY PIZZA!!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! THAT JUST FUCKING PIZZA!!!
OK...ok... me will give you something like Alfredo pizza, mainly because it have fucking Alfredo sauce on it and ALFREDO NOT NAME OF THE PASTA!!! OH! OH! Look! Me invented spaghetti pizza! Know what it have on it? FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! Oh look! Mostacholi pizza!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!! WOO HOO!! Ziti pizza!! FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!!
No, no... no... no. Me in mood for something simple. Some old standard.. like... sausage pizza. You know what am on that? FUCKING CRUST, SAUCE, MEAT AND CHEESE!!!
You fuckers!! Please! Do me favor. All you Pizza Hut idea geniuses go over to KFC labs and find them fucking brainiacs and you all go dance ballet. Yeah, get you dicks out and shove them up each other asses. Then yank em out and chili-wip face of guy next to you. End it all with nice case of salad tossing and lethal Asphuxiation and THAT AM ballet!!! Ballet with 100% sodomy!
Enjoy you advertising fucks!
Labels: advertising, food, rant
Scratched in cave wall by Monstee at 6:09 AM
15 Comments:
Ha ha ha! Oh man, that totally made my day.
i heart monstee.
i bet you'll be unsurprised to learn that KFC and pizza hut are owned by the same parent company: pepsi. so be prepared for idiotic marketing campaigns from pepsi (think: pepsi jazz!) and taco bell (4thmeal - also known as drunk food) and a&w (um, hello? ice cream in root beer? yuck! oh...wait... that's pretty tasty).
"We just developed a chicken that can flap and fly with it's TITS!!"
I got a visual of an ancient chicken with old, saggy breasts flapping around, a la "Chicken Run." It was not pretty, you bastard.
"Asphuxiation"
Monstee, that was very educational. I had no idea that there was a term for that.
http://capetorio.blogspot.com/
Are you going to the party?
Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?
Redcoats in the village
There's fighting in the streets
The Indians and the
mountain men, well
They are talking when they meet
The king has said he's gonna put a tax on tea
And that's the reason you all Americans drink coffee
Are you going to the party?
Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?
wv is gulut. no shit
Tricon is (was?) mad up of KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell, but Colomex was made up of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell (no KFC and different companies or something?).
They never really clarified that in training back in 1999.
Your logic is very good Monstee. It's a shame you don't live in my corner of Scotland as you'd do very well in my Intro to Philosphy class.
LMAO! Monstee you've made my night - I've not laughed so hard in ages!
i <3 you, monstee.
I have laughed, and while I worry about your furry blue blood pressure, I sympathize with your annoyance.
Its like that time I went to the gas station and wanted to buy the bag of candy that has the gummi bears in it, but the bears were really old and not at all gummi. They had petrified to a form of contemporary amber, as a matter of fact.
Just like that.
oh how i love it when you rant.
does your fur stand on end??
u MUST be Japanese, cuz evrything u touch turns to gold.
or in dis case, in-ur-face !laughter
a compliment, in case ur scratchin' cranium w/dem meaty sauce-covered blue digits
..dun worry, we wont tell anyone u caved. [[[cheesy grin]]]
I say old chap. Ever had Oxtail soup?
Kieran, I have... made with genuine Ox tail as well.
Monstee, just thought I'd let you know that you came joint 3rd in the B.U.M. Tosser 2006 quiz at mine...
Right on, brother!
Fuck them. Fuck them right in the ass....sans lube.
The subject of a very wonderful and distinct
I thank you for continuing excellence
Thank you
=========================================================================
ضحك,
ليبيا,
شباب ليبيا,
احاديث نبوية,
السيرة النبوية,
برامج اسلامية,
صوتيات اسلامية,
خواطر,
الشعر الشعبى,
قصص,
اللغات الاجنبية,
تعلم الفرنسية,
تعلم الانجليزية,
الطب
تقنية الاسنان,
كتب طبية,
طب الاعشاب,
اناقة وجمال,
اناقة الرجال,
الاسرة والمجتمع,
الطبخات,
اثاث وديكور,
مقاطع كورة,
الدوري الليبي,
المصارعة,
الكرة العربية,
الكرة العالمية,
الدوري الاسباني,
الدوري الانجليزي,
الدوري الايطالي,
اخبار المشاهير,
افلام اجنبية,
مسلسلات اجنبية,
تحميل افلام,
افلام عربية,
تحميل مسلسلات عربية,
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