Monstee's mini-sagas
Well kids, me got more of them little mini-sagas invented by Brian Aldiss that me learn about over at Footeaters. Now that Footeater am done with hims contest about them fun little mini-sagas, me can post ones me submitted.
Rather then keep directing you all back to old posts me did these things in before like here, here and here, me can now direct you all to me new collection in Back of Cave! In future, when me do more of these me will also post them there to keep collection up to date. As usual, if you like feel free to try them on you own in me comments. But please let me know if you do some other places cause me would really like to see them. These am really dark so brace youself and enjoy.
God's Wrath
"Armageddon!" he gurgled, on his knees vomiting blood.
Green bile streamed from his ears.
Ten feet away a young woman exploded sending bits of flesh, bone and gore flying.
A small boy doubled over and projected gallons of fecal matter everywhere.
I couldn't believe this. These were my new shoes!
Stray Cat
Mother watched daughter lovingly though the kitchen window.
The girl shuffled along and waited, allowing the tabby to get closer.
When the cat paused for too long, the girl offered an invisible treat.
They entered the kitchen together and gazed into mother's eyes longingly.
'Mommy,' she said. 'I gots dinner.'
Father Christmas
He rested his bag between tree and chimney, took a cookie, and quietly walked to the boy's room.
Finishing the treat, he smiled at the sleeping child.
This was a good boy.
He would say nothing.
The reindeer and deliveries could wait.
He dropped his pants and climbed into bed.
OH! Just in case you no go over to see contest at Footeaters...
Here am what he have to say bout that last one when he posted it.
Father Christmas: fucking disgusting Monstee penned this revolting and highly morally dubious squirt of literary excrescence, and caused me to mix my metaphors into the bargain. I felt sick posting this, and have to have a lye bath every time I read it. I'm tempted to email this story to Brian Aldiss and ask if he realises what he started. - Footeater
Me am so proud.
Rather then keep directing you all back to old posts me did these things in before like here, here and here, me can now direct you all to me new collection in Back of Cave! In future, when me do more of these me will also post them there to keep collection up to date. As usual, if you like feel free to try them on you own in me comments. But please let me know if you do some other places cause me would really like to see them. These am really dark so brace youself and enjoy.
God's Wrath
"Armageddon!" he gurgled, on his knees vomiting blood.
Green bile streamed from his ears.
Ten feet away a young woman exploded sending bits of flesh, bone and gore flying.
A small boy doubled over and projected gallons of fecal matter everywhere.
I couldn't believe this. These were my new shoes!
Stray Cat
Mother watched daughter lovingly though the kitchen window.
The girl shuffled along and waited, allowing the tabby to get closer.
When the cat paused for too long, the girl offered an invisible treat.
They entered the kitchen together and gazed into mother's eyes longingly.
'Mommy,' she said. 'I gots dinner.'
Father Christmas
He rested his bag between tree and chimney, took a cookie, and quietly walked to the boy's room.
Finishing the treat, he smiled at the sleeping child.
This was a good boy.
He would say nothing.
The reindeer and deliveries could wait.
He dropped his pants and climbed into bed.
OH! Just in case you no go over to see contest at Footeaters...
Here am what he have to say bout that last one when he posted it.
Father Christmas: fucking disgusting Monstee penned this revolting and highly morally dubious squirt of literary excrescence, and caused me to mix my metaphors into the bargain. I felt sick posting this, and have to have a lye bath every time I read it. I'm tempted to email this story to Brian Aldiss and ask if he realises what he started. - Footeater
Me am so proud.
Scratched in cave wall by Monstee at 1:16 AM
3 Comments:
good lord, monstee, that's terrific, if not morally bankrupt. five points.
brace youself and enjoy
That's my chat-up line. Get your own.
I hope you're happy, Monstee. Its clear you killed Footeater.
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