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Strange Things Afoot in the Mouth of the Cave!

Why? Why ME?!? Why do things like this keep happening to me??!!??!!?

Well, by now me guess that you notice things am little strange round here now. Me have to say, me no like it. If you no notice, then you must have you sound turned down. If you no have sound on you computer, then you am out of date freak who am living on desert island with string and tin cans for you dial up and bunch of monkeys plugging into banana tree for you server. It ok, me am just figment of you imagination. You can skip all me ranting and raving in THIS post and just go boil you other shoe for brunch. But remember, salt am salt but sand am NOT pepper! mmMMMMmmmshoebrunch...

NO! You no distract Monstee with talk of leather snack/meal in nice location while screaching wild life fling poo at you while eating!!! Me am Monstee! Me am in VERY bad mood! Things am not going well in cave and you am just visiting... ME have to live here!!!

"But Monstee... what am going on here?" you ask? Me make big mistake and have accadent and now... THIS! Why? Why me have to go an try to play internet god? Why? Me know why... Because me am. NO! It am those LURKERS... That am why cave am now like is am, the lurkers....

You see, me have been working on way to find out who the lurkers am, and humiliate er... Include them in fun, but up till now me have been having problem with Monstee's Lurker detector. What me wanted was way to access computer of lurker and turn they screen into camera! Then me take picture of them and post it showing them and saying... oh, nice and friendly things about then. Good Idea huh? BUT NOOOOooooOOO!!! Me had to go and spill jar of liquid reference extractor into backmasking reverse engineering housing and then telepathic thought detector circuits fuse in new and strange way that begin causing feedback impulses that begin looping over and over and voyeur and favor andy Volvo DNA rover and ME CAN NO STOP IT!!!

:::pant:::pant:::pant:::

In simple human term that even island bob no soundcard can understand am this. We am all being subjected to thoughts and feelings of all visitors to Monstee's Cave... but those thoughts and feelings am being interpreted and expressed through bizarre and obscure TV and Movie references. OKOKOKOK!!! YES!!! Me do most of me scientific stuff on top of old pile of old TV guides!!! You wanna make something of it??? Where were you last time you accidentally created artificial intelligence??? Hmmmm??? Me was in bathroom trying to make improved electric toothbrush!!! Was it smart??? Yes! Was it better toothbrush??? NO! It was evil! Did me not mention me ONLY HAVE SEVEN TEETH!!!!

This am last straw!!! Me am going to get them Lurkers if it last thing me do!!!!