Well.... shit.

Ok, so me not been around much lately but hey, me been sick.

Well... Me guess me am still sick, but me hope to be getting over it soon. Me have for some reason got big infected tooth! Can you no believe it? ME! With infected fang! At first me think it was just massive indigestion from eating giant four foot ball of hair with bullseye taped to it, but no. Me have bad in me mouth and me have to do ME time at dentist to get it fixed. The tooth have already half exploded from me chewing on me hard crunchy things... and while me waiting for appointment, it get infected. Me did not think there germ out there that want to live in me body. Me guess contrary to all hate mail me get over LAST post... Monstee really am sweet.

Well kiddies, to tied you over while me drooling on couch watching infomercial and The View, me have gathered up all postings from Sarah's place having to do with Bear Story and posted them in back of cave. (For those of you who no know, back in early-mid September Sara stay away from her blog for long time and people start treating her comments like chat room and some of us start entertaining ourselves by writing cute little story about a Bear.)

Feel free email me with additional chapters if you want, just try to keep consistency of project.

Wish me well kids! Me like going to dentist bout as well as me like going to... oh, let say hell. But till me start feeling better, you work on story and here am things to think about:

1. Why we always telling kids to be good and not take candy from strangers, then on Halloween we dress them up like evil things and make them take candy from strangers?
2. Am there anything more disgusting than mouthful of puss? (now me know where you gutterminded people am going, but when you start getting mouthful of THAT every 20-30 minutes all day long then we talk. (and when we talk me say you made bad career choice))
3. You ever notice how there am no rule when you add funny and sad together? You never know what you going to get. Me mean, clowns am funny and crying am sad. If you add them together... crying clown am sad. Now, walking in on someone masturbating in bathtub am funny... buuuut walking in on clown crying while masturbating in bathtub am fucking hysterical!
4. Do dung beetles poop? If so, am that not like pooping you own food?
5. If you could poop you own food, what would you poop and would you eat it?

Discuss.

:]

News In Literature

Important facts that you may not know about next Lemony Snicket book, The Penultimate Peril. (this am mainly do to fact that grrface get tons of comments when she post about book)

Words that no appear in book:
1. rimjob
2. prepubescent
3. prostatectomy
4. frotteurism
5. speculum
6. brystpule
7. gynecomastia
8. bukkake
9. priapism
10. felching

Terms that no appear in book:

1. jailbait sandwich
2. driving down the Hershey Highway
3. carpet licking
4. puffing on the meat cigar
5. Bending to the will of the one eyed purple warrior
6. Dialing zero on the little pink telephone
7. BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend)
8. pimp juice
9. If There's Grass on the Field, Play Ball
10. Letting the crotch lizard terrorize the tiny town of pinkville

Excerpts that no appear in book:
1. "Oh my," said Klaus. "Either I'm swelling or my trousers are shrinking. Now this can't be right!"
2. Throwing the feather boa around his neck, Count Olaf stopped to admire himself in the mirror. The garters could be higher, the bra could be tighter, and the black panties could be smaller. Oh well, at least now he could relax and be grateful that he no longer had to wear those disguises.
3. Once again Violet had to distract Count Olaf while the others continued the plan. The tin cans and rubber bands made excellent knee pads and she was glad for the opportunity to test her newest invention. Although she had emptied the glass over an hour ago, the liquid was still suppressing her gag reflex beautifully.
4. The words Sunny Baudelaire used were not nonsense. If any of the doctors present had had half of her intelligence, or half the experience of her siblings, they would have recognized what she was saying as "There's blood when I wipe,"
5. For Beatrice- During our last love making, I felt so alive. I wish you had been.

YOU WRITE THE CAPTION!

So if you no notice, me have not been posting for while. That because me have been busy doing other stuff and will get back to it as soon as me can.

What have me been doing all this time Monstee?
MIND YOU OWN BUSINESS YOU PERSON WITH BIG NOSE!!!!

OH, me am so sorry. Me not know where THAT come from. Me have been under pressure for little while now and guess me need to blow off steam little. Sorry it at you.

Is there some kind of problem Monstee?
WHAT DID ME SAY?!? KEEP YOU BIG NOSE OUT OF ME BUSINESS PERSONAL LIFE!!!

Sorry, sorry...
Really, me not know what that am all about...

So ANYWAY... shut up and let me get on with it.

Me have run across funny picture that need good caption. Me not think of good caption, so me not post picture. Then me think of you. You can give funny picture good caption. But me not going to post it until me know you am going to play along, SO... when me run across other funny picture and want you all to put funny caption to picture, me put this one up.



(you caption here)

Please leave caption in comments (feel free to be anonymous) or Email me.

It's funny because it's true

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying:
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims.
"That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks,

"How many is a brazillion?"





Me thanks to lurker you-know-who!