Monstee's Cave: 11.2005

Me side of story!

OK, so no matter what you hear it am lie!

LIE ME TELL YOU, ALL LIE!!!

Truth am that yes, Kate and Paul DID happen drive by one of me cave openings that am Midwest heartland mouth of cave...

Q:You know why they call it heartland?
A: Because brains not there!
HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahah hehehehe snicker snicker

mmMMMMmmmheartandbrainsandsnickers....

NO! You will no distract Monstee with talk of delicious food type stuffs in humorous joke type form! You were no there! You not know what happen! You not smell yummy sweet smell of cologne mixed with Dramamine mixed with pain relieving endorphins mixed with soy sauce mixed with chloroform mixed with Bar BQ mixed with Excedrin Migraine mixed with old-new car smell mixed with bromodichloromethane mixed with gasoline mixed with dibromochloromethane mixed with Kate mixed with leather and just a hint or sweet tea and bromoform. So now you see! That smell am overpowering! If it not in stores now, then they need bottle it and call it "Anonymous". Hmmmm... That may not be good idea after all. ANYONE who walk around smelling like THAT am just begging to get bit on! Which me NOT DO!! LIE, IT AM LIE!! Him see me first smelling that... and... and...
HE SHOVE HIM ARM IN ME MOUTH BEFORE ME COULD EVEN SAY 'HI'! Yeah, that's what happen! Me think him going for me last bit fang! Yeah, him the bad guy, not me. Kate do tell one thing that am true. We do put it all behind us (which am where Paul stay most of time... behind me) and have very nice lunch.

Me have plate of pennies. (You know need to chew them. They a suck on and swallow food.) Kate have a chicken log. And Paul have what look like plate full of red cheese. Over all, it good time over all. Me give it two dew claws up!

The Vicodin calendar

Monuesday
Tuednesday
Wedursday
Thuriday
Friturday
Satunday
Sunonday

Me'm trytoing makthe pointhat dayseem toby runtingether whenew deepen grip sovicodin haze.

Amemaking sense?

Tooth and Wisdom

So me get tooth yanked out yesterday and it have this BAD cavity all over it!

Even Me find it disgusting. But you know what am worse? It am worse when Satan... er, me mean demon spawn from Hell... er, me mean Nazi torture person who strap you down and keep asking you "Is it safe?" even when you have no idea what they am asking... er, me mean dentist, yeah dentist butcher with pick and mirror go in and kindly yank you tooth out of you stupid head and while they in there decide that there am ANOTHER tooth

that no need root canal after all and they just gonna yank that one out next week. Yep, that am worse. But hey, you know me. Me am type of monstee that always try to look on bright side, always try to see that silver lining, always try to... to... to not be such downer when life suck big green donkeys. So what am bright side here? When me am in swollen, bloody, painful hell and have little to look forward to other than semi liquid diet and nothing more solid to eat than say mashed potatoes and just when it start healing and getting little bit better, doing same thing all over again.... What can be bright side?

Vicodin!

Yes, me may be swollen, bloody and in pain, but me new best friend Vicodin help a lot. What pain it no take away it just make me not give a shit! That am so nice. Me also not give a shit about drooling, falling asleep wherever, whenever and whatever me am doing... and spending hours watching infomercials just because me not give a shit about changing channel. Yep, life may suck... but it suck in such a sweet way.