3 things

First off: To everyone who have been emailing and IMing me about me current state of technological impairedness, me would like to thank you all for you concerns, but me do know what me am doing. After all, me am Monstee. There am reasons why me am running such old, dilapidated and possibly haunted software. Biggest reason am because of me old, dilapidated and possibly haunted computer. Another may be complete lack of money me currently am holding for a friend. While me have that, it am hard to update me hardware so it can accommodate any new and shiny and fucking huge ass needing disk and RAM space to run software. Until me can do something about it, me think me am doing pretty good with what me got, thank you very much, but until you am living in cave and logging on to internet using stone knives and bearskins please no be telling me what me should do to overcome some of me problems. Me probably have been down that path and you am just wasting our time.

Next: Me good friend SafeTinspector has inquired about one of me other side projects "The Bear Story." Me call it me side project cause it am project me am involved and it has link over there on side of blog. Me looked the whole thing over and realized it and the intire back of cave needed major overhauling. Me overhauled it and now me think it am more self explanatory. Feel free to help out, but if you no can be troubled to find link on right... here it am.

Lastly: Why the FUCK do me even try to use ANY of the "who links to me" type sites out there on the web? They no work! Me found out on me own that me was mentioned in posting by Fat Sparrow! Me would LIKED to have commented, BUT NO! Me didn't know about it and... Well, me was busy too. Footeater commented. He warn her that me am devil himself. (that's just cause he secretly fancies me.)
Anyway... It seem the Fat Sparrow have two year old that am currently in love with me. That not surprise me cause everyone who come to cave am in love with me... except for... you know who.
Anyway... as for me moving in with them, or little one being shipped here... we need to talk more about this first. Me am Monstee. Me need me dank. But FS, if you am ever about cave again and need to put little one to sleep like last time, feel free to sing him this song.

Me no usually post song lyrics at cave, but me know that me have people getting here looking for them so me got them and present them to be used instead of lullaby. If you am interested, these guys am linked under me MUSIC heading. Go to they site and buy them CD's. They am great!

The New Duncan Imperials
(Oh my God we're...):lyrics

Hey guys!

Did you ever get that urge to go out on a Tuesday night, when you know beers are cheap and everything's looking your way? So you head out to the corner bar and you have yourself a couple of beers cause their only fifty cents on Tuesdays even though it's Old Milwaukee you don't care because their cheap and their flowing. You're at the bar drinking and watching some MTV on the big screen behind the bar, watching all the latest fads of the day, when a girl at the end of the bar is sitting there drinking vodka cranberry gives you a little bit of an eye and then you drink yourself a couple more glasses of courage and give her the eye and go over there and maybe say "Hey, wanna dance?" She's like "OK." So she starts dancing with you to the new Modern English song 'I'll stop the world and melt with you' and your having the greatest time of your life cause she's dancing with you and she looks pretty darn good. After the song's over you head of to the bar and you drink yourself three more of those fifty cent beers and you feel even better. And she wants to dance some more to that new REM thing that's really happening now days. So you're out there dancing and you're moving and you're swinging and everything kinda happening but then it's two o'clock and the bar's about to close and you're like "Oh MAN!" So you go "Hey, you know I could drive you home. I know you live in Lincoln Park, but you know that's not too far from me, I live in Rogers Park and they're... not too far." And she's like "OK." So you take her over there and you find a place to park even and she's says "Why don't you come on up? I go cable." and you go on up. And you start watching the Discovery Channel where they're showing lots of elephants and giraffes and that makes you feel really sexy! And then all of a sudden it's like twenty minutes later and you're an inch from her face and you think to yourself...

Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
La De Da De, La De Da De, Da!

Hey girls!

You ever go to work out at the health club and... you know... kinda try to lose a few pounds off your ass because you thinking maybe it's looking a little big lately, and you're like working on that exorcise bike trying to slim down your butt, and you know, jumping up and down on that stair thing and doing a thigh thing and a calf thing and all the things you gotta do to make your things look that way you want them to look. So you're working for about an hour and a half just chuging away, working, moving, sweating, stinking and getting everything happening. And that's about enough you said "Hey! Hey hey, that's about enough." You head over to Chi-chi's and, you know, have yourself a tequila sunrise, maybe a couple of chips from the bar, whatever, salsa's always pretty good. So you're over at Chi-chi's and you're... drinking and... kinda sitting around... watching ESPN and watching people eat the natchos with the cheese sauce. And you decide 'Yeah, I'll have another drink. Sure.' "How about a tequila sunrise, sir?" and he gives you one and there's this bartender, he's a pretty hansom guy. He's... got stone wash blue jeans, a white shirt buttoned up all the way and his hair's kinda greasy and combed all the way to the right. Looks pretty good to you! So, yeah... you know, give him the eye and he gives you another drink and he doesn't even charge you for that one. And you're sitting at the bar, you've had three tequila sunrises, that's enough to make you kinda giggle a little, and you have one more while you're just like, all of a sudden, just real talkative and talking to Carl behind the bar, that's his name. And all of a sudden, you know, Chi-chi's is closed and Carl's like "Well, let me give you a ride home," and you're like "OK." So, Carl takes you in his car and gives you a ride home and... he... decides to come on up and sit on your couch with you. And all of a sudden, it's ten minutes later, Carl's a half inch from your face and you think to yourself...

Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
La De Da De, Da De Da De, Da!
Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fucking!
Oh my god we're fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
La Da Da Da, La Da Da Da, Da!

Oh my god...
Oh my god...
We were.... fucking.

Look what Me dragged in!

We got new kitty crawling around cave thies days.

Although he am still a kitten, he am 9 1/2 feet tall and have head that am about 3 feet across. He have claws that can puncture gas tanks and eyes that set things on fire. He am pretty good natured most days and LOVES to have his head rubbed. But if he ever run at you sidewasy that am deamoncatspeak for "You am about to loose limb."

His name am

But we all call him Scruffy.


OH! And to person who find cave by serching for "new duncan imperials - oh my god we re lyrics" me found some for Haze Mix and put them in Back of Cave.

Later kids!

...but me have been commenting!

OKOKOKOK! So me haven't been posting much this month. Give me break! Thanksgiving am different for monsters than it am for you people! First off, it am 4 days long and we never have leftovers. You just eat till you pass out and pray that nobody force more food into you gullet while you sleeping. You think you get sleepy after you gorge? Me have you know that this time of year eating feasts often cause many monsters to drift off into monthly hibernation cycles that can last weeks! Those of us who no go into long term sleep tend to take to street in search of more turkey necks and hamhoks and bologna & potato chip sandwich and gizzards and scrapple and tripe and chitlins and monkey brains and them big bugs that they eat in Indiana Jones II (the crappy one) and soup with eyeballs and buckets of nightcrawlers and cranberry sauce and beef hearts and chicken hearts and turkey hearts and artichoke hearts and hearts are trump and are you still and reading this and or did you and or just skip and down to and the end of and the list and diamonds and clubs and spades and snips and snail's and puppy dog tails and that fuzzy stuff that have been in back of fridge for like six months that am now fuzzy and hairy and you no know if it am meat or cake but am pretty sure that it am not meatcake and some wired soup that have like hotdogs and greenbeans in it and macaroni and cheese that have been made in microwave without adding any water and Bread and apples and very small rocks and cider and great gravy and cherries and mud and churches and lead and a duck and largemough and smallmouth and walleyed too and crappies out the ass and potato chicks and cheese girls and soft & fluffy carp and the white stuff and two all beef patties and special sauce and lettuce and cheese and pickle and onion and a sesame seed bun and ROADKILL!!! TONS & TONS OF ROADKILL!!!!

So... no indifference to last comment me get on last posting (you hit scroll bar and look it up! After all that me am in NO mood to put link in there for just to take you to last postings!) Me am sorry for not posting so much lately but me have been working on stuff. Stuff you see in future... me hope.

AND, me have also been keeping up YOU and your little blogs out there. So just to fill out this little posting of nonsense, me will include last comments me make at all you blogs tonight. If you already read them... well you get to read them again. For you me will not tell who get what comment so you have to guess who get what where and so forth... ...this could be fun.

mmmmMMMMMmmmmcrappygasstationmicrowaveburgers...
When you toilet grow feet? It must have got feet if it am running!
Hehehehe!
toilet at cave grow nose... Because it am smelling!!! HAHAHAHAHA!

Me feel so bad for... what his name is. But, me also feel good for him for me know personally that life am better without really big bitch in it all of time.

Also... PEEPS?!?!?! YAHGH!! HO NO! PEEPS!!! YAAAAAAGH!!!! Peepspeepspeepspeepspeepspeespepessepeespsspseps...
ARRRGGGGHHHHHHGHGYUCKHGARRRAGRRGRGRJHRHRHABLECKAAH

::pant pant::

...how you people eat such things?

NASCAR Ice Cream?

It say it turbo-charged with rich chocolate fudge, crunchy chocolate-covered peanuts and exclusive fudge-filled race cars.

Hmmmm... Me think you should watch out eating anything that have pressurized injection system in it own engine!

Me also think you have pretty smile, but try not to do it with chunks of fudge-filled race cars in teeth.

HOW MANY TIMES ME GOT TO TELL YOU?!?! Ramones am best band ever! Me have only heard of half of band on you list and me can guess that other half am just as crappy! How you possibly describe youself as ultimate partier when you listen to such shmalts and groupie oriented music? You need exposed to other music not on radio or coming out phones of you friends! Get out on you own! Read a book too!

This have all been said with like.

IT AM PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHAT FOR SHOULD DIE!

"You might say, the secret ingredient is salt." - Marge Simpson

If you am asking me... me say that spices am the spice of life! If used properly, them can turn the most mediocre cook into a spicy tasty not that bad cook. Me know me had cooking window opened when me learned what to do with Basil and Shallots.

P.S. Me am surprised that no one mention anything about if wife have nice rack to use with spices. Me guess that am me job to make such lowbrow humor, but me not going to do it! Nyea.

Nice. Me like!

Me refuse to believe one word of you posting. Why? Because me know for fact it have at least ONE lie in there, and if there am one lie, then can be others. What lie you ask? That one about girls gone wild girl. Me know for fact that them girls am NOT real. They am robots or puppets or something. Me refuse to believe that they am real... for with me being so old... it just too sad to think what me am missing.

Oh sure, there am easy ones like...
"To get to the other side."
...but you looking for funnier ones like...
"Walk out? Help me find my keys and we'll drive out!"
"Me Injun Joe. Me check for bees."
"Hilittleboy.""Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time
Where he at Where he at Where he at Where he at
There he go There he go There he go There he go
Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly
Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat...

Monstee Music (Part 2 - minus the bear)

Me newest CD am already about two years old. Not that me have had it that long, me just get it! But it have been out while and me not lay paws on it till me good friend send it to me in mail. She know Monstee am big, BIG Ramones fan and also know that Monstee like other bands too. So it am not hard to think that Monstee would like Ramones songs done by other bands on this tribute album called


"We're A Happy Family"
When me first get CD me open it up and read liner notes on little book that am included with CD. It am VERY long and about how all tribute albums suck, except this one. For some reason me not stop reading till the end and after what seem like 3 or 4 chapters we find out it am Steven King. That pretty cool considering me know him am really big Ramones fan...as well as being Heavy Metal fan and fan of Disco (go figure).

So me listen to CD for like 4 or 5 times before me can get jaw off floor and eyes back in skull. It am good. It am REALLY REALLY GOOD!

OK, like you got bands doing songs that am pretty close to what you know by the Ramones, but in maybe a little more slick and produced with noticeable different singer... but they still keep the heart and soul of song in tack and it am clear they am fans. Here me am referring to bands like Eddie Vedder, Pete Yorn and Rooney. They do REALLY good job but it am just kinda strange hearing.

Then there am the bands that do great covers, but add something. It still the same song, but clearly have new and different sound to it. Coodoes to whoever picked who do what song because it am very good choice and kinda makes sense. Me NEVER would have thought Metallica would do such good job on "53rd & 3rd". Garbage "I Just Wanna Have Something To Do" and KISS "Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio" am nearly perfect examples of great covers taken one step toward the bands own sound.... OH, and Greenday was made to cover "Outsider". Good for The Offspring for getting the ever popular "I Wanna Be Sedated". They were almost perfect except they took the road of MOST bands that cover that song and GOT THE FUCKING LYRICS WRONG!!!! IT'S TWENTY TWENTY TWENTY-FORE HOURS TO GO! NOT TWENTY TWENTY TWENTY-FORE HOURS AGO!!! AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!

:::pant pant:::::


Oh, then there am the songs that am just WILD to here the bands version. It am still good, but almost completely different song. Red Hot Chili Peppers doing "Havana Affair" am one thing, but leave it to Rancid to take the ultimate punk song "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker" and make it MORE punk! The Pretenders have the longest song on the CD with "Something To Believe In". This am one of me favorites, but it am so strange hearing it so slow. Me think the biggest deviation from the norm and bands like Rob Zombie doing "Blitzkrieg Bop" and Marilyn Manson doing "The KKK Took My Baby Away". They am the same old songs we know and love, but here they sound like Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson song. Also, could there be better song pick for Marilyn? Maybe "Psycho Therapy"... hmmm. Anyway, along same lines me found Tom Waits "Return Of Jackie And Judy" good, but almost unrecognizable, and hearing U2 do "Beat On The Brat" kinda makes me laugh. Me just can no stop smiling when me hear angelic, melodic, save the world, Mr. Bono going on about beating on brats with baseballs bats!!!
It am SO great!!
So if you no can tell by now me really love this CD. Also, you may be telling that me not usually write music reviews. That am true so me will stop now.

Ok, me give you two more really fast ones.

1. Me am beginning to like Korn.
2. MTV do not necessarily suck big green donkeys, but it do have little that interest me at this time. Maybe me just need to listen more and give it time.


Thanks Kate!
;]